Yo, see if you will read till the end. (about my struggling recently)

I can’t deny and I’m glad that, it’s God’s plan leading me to a prestigious business school to learn serious subject matters and everything essential about BUSINESS.

Not until being in KFBS that I can confirm my own interest. (In the past, I was nobody but everyone else assuming business would be a good option for future if myself is not capable to be a professional.) Not until being in KFBS that I find a lot of challenges yet occasional achievement, which in returns causes me committing myself in what I am truly interested in – marketing. (I would have no excuse when friends looking down on business major in the past. I understand their perspective. But now I even understand I should not feel ashamed of what I am doing.) Now I can firmly say it also takes a lot to be a businessman.

Most importantly, business school is telling me to be ETHICAL. And to be ethical, my set of rules comes from bible, from my religion, without a doubt. It doesn’t have to be lawful/ legal to be ethical. You know that? That means something can be wrong but not illegal. And it all depends on how you choose yourself to be. Sarcastic enough, I do believe responsible businessman with good faith and practice exist in the real business world. I will strive to be one.

I guess I just took a first step, perhaps a stupid step.

Internship, right? Being turn down is usual, right? Because you don’t have citizenship, right? But then you have to keep trying, right? No matter how many times, right? That’s what I am doing.

Two days ago, Altria Sales & Distribution recruiter contacted me through email. “Dear Wai Lok, one of the marketing faculty members recommend you to me as a consideration of our summer internship 2010. We would like to have an interview with you”. Something like that. I was thrilled. Who else could it be? Must be my intro to marketing Prof who recommends me. She is the only one knows me and we are having Altria’s team coming up on today lecture as guest speakers.

So then I checked out Altria, preparing myself for the guest lecture so to give good impression to the interviewer and for the interview as well. Then I found out Altria is the national largest tobacco company who simply owns Marlboro and other associated brands. Hmn…

Hesitation. Opportunity vs. morality. I did share my situation with my two suitemates out of three. The other one degrades down to animal that only has sexual desire every night, nothing else, so I doubt he processes thinking at all. The one who smoke cigarette and pot: Hell yea, man. Shit load of money there. What’s wrong with you?  The journalism major one: Be realistic, you guys (businessmen) are nasty and less moral anyway.

Is it really? I have a calling from my heart, from Him. I just don’t feel right. So I waited in replying the email and see how did it go in today’s lecture. One of the professors once said that interviewee is also interviewing the company through the interviewer. How the company culture shapes the employee shows thoroughly through the interviewer. I experienced it once when I had the P&G interview. I felt pity failing in that one because of citizenship, anyway. Today, I experienced it one more time.

Those guest speakers from Altria including the recruiter, although wearing nice, high-end business attire, look ugly from the heart to me. Well, they are professionals, very top tiers. If not, how can they work in one of the wealthiest company in the world? They are also well-prepared to be offensed in Q&A sections. First slide in the presentation, are we a responsible company?  YES! We don’t sell or advertise to underage market. We don’t create demand. We only provide the best choice for smoker. We never persuade them to smoke. We have research center to discover ways to reduce harm in smoking. We even have program to help customer to quit smoking! What? (You know I am polite but not this time.) That’s all bullshit, man! (Honestly, if you know me well, I am good at that too. Making excuse? Rationalizing wrongness? Sure. If I give up my conscience, I guarantee I will excel in this company. And I will smoke.) But that’s not my parents have been teaching me or paying my tuition for, to be a successful bad guy.

I feel poor for them, seriously. My friend sitting next to me asked whole bunch of ethical questions that are exactly what I was thinking. But I didn’t ask because that’s not the purpose of this guest lecture. That’s not what professor wants us to learn instead of sales distribution. That’s not the reason those guest speakers come for neither. But in return, I had a solid answer for myself. I will never work for them. Let’s go ahead giving up the interview chance.

My Lord, thanks for this experience. I will keep trying for other truly valuable internships.

Thanks for reading.